back to tell more.....

Andrew was born on May 5th 2004. What a wonderful day it was to finally see the Angel God had in trusted me with.
I delivered him by c-section at Norfolk General Hospital.  They transported him to the children's hospital right next door.. It felt like he was so far away from me.  I was suppose to stay in bed for at least 24 hours, but I refused. I wanted to see my baby.  I made a big fuss and the doctor was called. I got my way and Kent wheeled me over to see my son.
I felt my head swirling I was still on pain meds and I was feeling very dizzy, but I could not let anyone know, or back to bed I would go.
I held on knowing I would be able to touch and see my baby boy.

We got to the NICU and we were given gowns and told to take off all our jewelry and wash to our elbows.
I remember feeling to scared.  Why was I so scared?  I guess I was not sure what he would look like now that it had been 6 hours.  Would I be a good Mother?  Would I know how to care for this little special baby?
What I saw was this helpless little creature lying there looking up at me.  He was beautiful. I mean like nothing I had ever seen.  I began to cry as i saw all the wires and tubes all over him.
I was sitting in the wheel chair and I had to stand up to see him fully.  I stood up and wow I felt dizzy. But I had to not look it. 
I wanted to touch my son. I wanted to hold him.
The nurse came over. Her name was Katie. She helped transport him over from the hospital and told me he was a sweetie pie for her.  I liked her right away and felt some calm come over me. 
She asked me if I would like to hold him.  I shook my head and tried not to cry.
She took him with all his wires and tubes and put him in my arms. I think I never had been so still in my life. I was afraid to hurt him. Maybe a tube would come loose or a wire come off and I would kill him.
I was over reacting.
Kent then held him and I was jealous. I wanted to put Andrew back inside me to protect him. I was in awe of all the other children in the pod. There were babies within the room but only one other set of parents. Where were the Moms?
I was feeling like, "well I am not leaving my baby".  I had no intention of leaving until he came home.
But that was not to be.
This was just the beginning.

The care plan was to next meet with Dr. Barnhart and talk about the time for open heart to fix the heart defect TOF with Andrew.  Problem was that he still did not get rid of the stool in his body.  He would need that to happen before surgery.
Here we go, I thought.
Dear God what could be wrong now?